The Dating Game
Dating as an adult; it is a whole different experience than the fresh-faced romantic love we often stumble into as kids. As an adult, you come with a few more lived experiences and often a lot more baggage. And we aren’t just talking matching his and hers luggage (but sometimes we are!). There is plenty to unpack when you return to the dating game a little older and wiser. If you are lucky, that might even lead to blending households down the road.
Fast forward a few steps. You have put yourself out there, met a few duds, but found someone who strikes your fancy. Fantastic! After a few dates, if things seem to be going well, you might even be hopeful for more. Good for you for putting yourself out there. Dating is never easy, and finding someone special even harder. When you do, cherish that, especially if you have been hurt before. Hold on tight though, as if you are lucky, there just might be a few more changes yet to come.
Blending & Purging Households
Changes you say? How does blending two households sound? When you get to the point where you find yourself contemplating merging your two worlds, that is when things get interesting. While some people swear they will never live with another person after previous failed relationships, many people embrace new relationships and all they offer. Sometimes that looks like taking the plunge and moving in together. So as those new relationships grow, you need to make space for that person — and their stuff!
Hold on! Their stuff too?
Yes. You see, by the time you reach a certain age, most people accumulate an awful lot of stuff; dishes, glassware, sheets, towels. That is just the basics. There is also family heirlooms, furniture, and sometimes appliances too. If you are at the point of contemplating letting someone move in or going from two homes down to one, invariably not all of your collective stuff will fit. But, if you are dating and committed to taking your relationship to the next level, stuff is just that—stuff. With time, you realize that all those items don’t mean as much as the relationships we have along the way.
So what do you do? How do you handle twice the amount of household goods? Time for some open and honest conversations and a lot of purging.
Tips to Blending Households
- Start with your favourites. Go through each other’s items and pick your favourites from both households. This can be a fun exercise that brings you closer together as you bond over favoured items.
- Purge your own items beforehand in anticipation of creating space. It can feel less intimidating and hopefully empowers you in the process of blending households.
- Think about where you might have duplicates and assess the quality of both. Keep the better and newer of the two.
- Be open to making compromises. Sometimes keeping your partner’s sentimental objects makes more sense for keeping the peace, than fighting over it. Likewise, you are making a fresh start with someone new. Maybe that means letting go of old items instead of bringing them into your new relationship.
- Keep the lines of communication open. If the process of going through items gets difficult, say so. Talking the process through helps to build trust, compassion, understanding, and hopefully the seeds of love.
- Mix things up. Sometimes the best compromise is rotating items in your household.
Remember that you are building a new life with someone. Be clear and open about what you want that to look like and respect your partner and their needs in the process. Ultimately, your relationship should be more important than the baggage you bring into it. Time to unpack and step into a whole new world!